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Soylent Cafe Variety Pack

Exams, presentations, and business reports loom like a cackling Drosselmeyer. When stress hits, the first thing to be thrown out are healthy meals. How will your buds survive?

Simple, take the guesswork out of nutrition by giving them Soylent, a delicious meal replacement drink with all the macronutrients and vitamins your friends need to withstand the onslaught of tedium. Endure! πŸ’ͺ

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Stonewall Kitchen Ghost Pepper Jelly

We traditionally think of jelly as the gentle brother to papa peanut butter. But this ain't your friendly jelly. It lurks like a ghost in an abandoned flavor mansion, ready to strike fear into the hearts of spice loving buds young and old. Spread on cheese, toast, or chicken to infuse them with power. πŸ™Œ

Secret Aardvark Sauce Sampler

The hottest thing to emerge from Portland since Carrie Brownstein discovered sketch comedy, this trio of infernal sauces will inject a little pep into any spice-loving friend's step.

Our favorite? The ambrosial Aardvark Habanero Sauce: tangy, Tex-Mexy, with a dash of Caribbean panache, and just mellow enough to splash on anything and everything. The addiction is real. πŸŒΆπŸ’‰

Queen Majesty Hot Sauce Sampler

You and your bud find yourselves stranded deep in the jungle, fighting for survival.

Out of the brush, 3 magical creatures greet you: the Jalapeno Tequila and Lime 🐍, the Scotch Bonnet and Ginger πŸ†, and the Red Habanero and Black Coffee 🐺. They leave you with 3 bottles of their essence. Your taste buds are saved.